Archive for May, 2013

Road Rage; we’ve all experienced it in one form or another.  Whether you’ve been the road rager yourself or were the victim of a road rager. Lucky for me I’ve have the privilege of experiencing two road rage drivers now twice in the last two weeks.  The best part is my road rage experiences come with sweet sweet revenge.


The Nissan –

Last week I’m on my way home from my crossfit session, driving on the northbound 5 freeway.  Traffic is moving at a relatively quick pace averaging around 75 MPH.  I’m in the fast lane moving with the flow of traffic when I see a silver sporty Nissan several cars back making quick lane changes.  This driver is doing everything possible to move ahead in traffic regardless if all lanes are traveling around the same speed.  In his effort to push forward, he cuts off other drivers, darts from lane one all the way to lane four then back to lane two. All the while he’s causing the other drivers to brake hard to keep from hitting him as he cuts them off.  As he tries to dart past me I see him switch to lane three.  In order to get ahead of the car he’s behind he cuts off a motorhome.  The motorhome driver brakes hard and lays on the horn.  Then the driver of the Nissan has the audacity to give the motorhome driver the middle finger!  As I’m watching this driver’s ridiculous actions I’m getting more and more frustrated, but there’s really not much I can do, I could call the police and report a reckless driver but he’s already too far ahead of me to get his license number.  


About two miles down the road I see a cop on a motorcycle two cars back.  Now technically I am speeding so when the motorcycle cop aggressively pulls in behind me, my heart sinks and I’m thinking “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”.  There’s a driver who’s endangering multiple lives by darting in and out of traffic and he’s going to pull me over for driving five miles over the posted speed limit!  But as I keep driving the motorcycle cop has NOT turned on his lights.  Apparently I was the cover for him to observe the Nissan in action.  Suddenly he accelerates and charges towards the Nissan.  The next thing I see is the lights of the motorcycle cop pulling over the silver Nissan!  VICTORY!  I WIN!!!


The Buick Lady –

My other lovely experience was just this morning on my way to work.  I’m traveling on the 78 westbound in moderate traffic.  Speed is around 70-75 MPH.   There’s a woman in a Buick who’s so far up my ass if I just tap the break she’d probably hit me.  I’m following the flow of traffic and not holding anyone back so there’s no point in me moving over.  I can see she’s getting frustrated cause she’s moving partway into the emergency lane to see what’s in front of me.  Even if I do pull into the next lane she’s just going to be stopped by the car in front of me.  She then moves into the number two lane which happens to be moving just very slightly faster than the fast lane for the time being.  However she doesn’t get far and as she pulls alongside my car I can see just how frustrated she is.  She’s giving me the stink eye and shaking her head. I can see she wants to dart in front of me and cut me or the semi-truck in the slow lane off, and I’ll be damned if I’ll allow that!  I accelerate just enough to prevent her from cutting me off.  Now understand, my acceleration isn’t aggressive in anyway and I’m not even tailgating the person in front of me.  It’s just enough to prevent her car from cutting me off.  Had I been the one holding up all the traffic in the fast lane I would have surely moved over to allow her and other traffic to progress, but because I’m just following in a long line of cars in the fast lane, her aggressive attempts to cut me off is futile.  The other cars around me tune into my plight and also try to prevent her from cutting them off as well.  We’re all doing this in a rather polite non-threatening way, but trying to get the point across that her driving style is neither appreciated nor appropriate.


As she continues to try to cut me and other drives off she’s making these wild “WTF” gestures with her hands and you can visually see that she’s cursing and yelling.  What?  Like we should be happy you’ve been dangerously tailgating other cars for the last five miles then we should be happy that you want to cut us off just to get ONE car ahead?!  Her “WTF” gestures turn into flipping the bird gestures and I return those gestures with a happy smile and nice wave of my hand.  I’m sure my polite greetings and the other drivers around me who have also thwarted her aggressive moves have thrown her over the edge and she chooses to dangerously cut off the semi-truck in the slow lane just to try to move forward.  The semi-truck swerves slightly and lays on the air horn.  Thankfully for the last three miles all this has been observed by a highway patrolman who had just pulled out from behind the semi-truck.  The CHP officer turns on his lights, which parts the traffic and he snags her!  VICTORY #2!!  I WIN AGAIN!!! 


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