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Posts Tagged ‘Diarrhea’

Ahhh pets… For those of us who don’t have kids, our pets are our children.  Bogie my dog, is highly intelligent yet slightly neurotic.  We’ve trained him to ring a doorbell when he wants to go outside.  Unfortunately, sometimes his neurotic side kicks in and he rings the doorbell just because.  Sometimes he rings the doorbell because we wants to race across the lawn and bark at any birds that are trespassing and roosting on the fence.  Or maybe he’ll ring it to check that the lizard isn’t invading in the corner.

Well it has been raining pretty frequently here in California and my backyards’ drainage system just hasn’t been keeping up with the rain and as a result I basically have a small pond in my lawn.  So last night when Bogie rang the doorbell, I hesitated thinking that he’d just run through the pond and track in a bunch of mud on his way in or check the corner for his nemesis the lizard.  I ignored Bogie’s doorbell the first time and asked him “Do you really need to go out?” and continued to clean the kitchen.  Bogie rings the doorbell again and turns and looks at me.  As he’s looking at me, and as I’m headed toward the door, Bogie uncontrollably releases diarrhea on the carpet!

Apparently, yes he really did need to go out!

My automatic reaction is to shout NOOOOOOOOOOO, even as the evil continues to cascade from Bogie’s bowels.  Bogie is now scared of his loving mom shouting NOOOOOO and running towards him and the door.  He takes a step back, paw landing right into his fresh steamy pile.  Just as I’m about to reach him he takes off around the living room, leaving fresh poop marks with every step he takes.  OMG BOGIE!!! STOPPEN!  (German for stop or freeze)

Bogie timidly stops and his little doberman ears go into “Yoda” mode which means he knows he’s done something bad (even if it was an accident).  Poop is everywhere!  There’s a trail of it in various circles all over the living room.  FOREVER UNCLEAN!!

I walk Bogie out into the garage, fill my garden bucket with water, put on some super heavy duty kitchen gloves and start washing his paws.  As I walked back into the house and stand at the kitchen surveying the damage, the smell Lord the smell!

Resolve Carpet Cleaner? Check!
Gloves? Check!
Scrubby Brush? Check!
Despair and anger with a dash of humiliation? Double Check…

An hour later with a blister on my thumb from scrubbing, the carpet has no more poop marks.  Instead now it has these bright clean spots sporadically spaced around the living room.  I can just see my welcome greeting to any future guests, “Welcome to my home, pay no attention to the shit stains…”

So this morning after a really good night sleep, I open the door to my room and I’m greeted by the familiar stench of dog poop.  Yeah, today I’ll be calling a carpet cleaner to come and thoroughly clean the evil that inherently still resides in the carpet.

Poor Bogie and his loose bowels.  I guess this will teach me to get the doorbell on Bogie’s first ring…

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Another Bogie Mishap…

Well little Bogie is not quite so little anymore.  He weighs a whopping 60 lbs even though he’s only six months old.  And while he is quickly losing his puppy looks he still maintains some of his puppy characteristics.  One of these is the puppy diarrhea  that he gets on a routine basis.  We’ve mentioned it to our vet, but he says its pretty common for puppies to have diarrhea so he’s not too concerned.  Most of the time his little diarrhea plop piles are contained in the yard and while they make it more interesting and difficult to clean, it hasn’t manifested into a “Horror” situation.  That is, until yesterday…

So I take Bogie to the Escondido dog park everyday so he can burn off energy and frustration from being left at home all day.  Everyday we jump into the car and half way to dog park, Bogie starts getting overly excited and starts whimpering as he knows we are getting closer to his favorite destination.  As we get to the dog park, bogie is literally dancing with joy. I walk to the large dog pen with Bogie dancing beside me and we walk inside the main gate.  Usually I unclip Bogie’s leash inside the staging area then open the main gait and let him run off and play.  This time however I kept him clipped to the leash so that I could go over and get some doggie poop bags just in case.  I pulled out three poop bags and stuff them in my pocket.  All this time Bogie is getting overly anxious to be freed.   I started to unclip Bogie’s leash and as soon as Bogie was freed from the leash he launched from his standing position to join the other dogs playing.  Unfortunately the diarrhea that was being stored in his bowels exploded.  The diarrhea literally shot out his butt with such tremendous force that it landed in a plopping stream four feet back and just inches from my legs and other dog owners!

“Good Lord!”,  “Jesus Christ!”, “Look Out!”  Were shouted out by the other owners who narrowly escaped the toxic projectile stream.  I stood back speechless trying to comprehend what had just happened.   It took 8 doggie poop bags and a bucket of water to clean up the four foot long stream plop from the dog park grass.  As I threw the used doggie poop bags into trash one by one, I still cannot believe how close I was to peril!  If I was standing just one inch to the left, I would have been literally COVERED with dog diarrhea!  I shutter at just the thought of it!

Next time I am releasing Bogie in the staging area paying particular attention of staying clear of the deadly diarrhea cannon.

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