Archive for August, 2011

My Fur-Son

As most of you know, I don’t have children of my own but I do have a precocious fur-son; Bogie the Doberman.  Bogie is a character to say the least.  He borders on being OCD with his constant need to check the backyard for intruders (birds, lizards, insects etc); his continual need to use your leg as a napkin and his addiction to attacking water coming out of a hose.  Everyday he does something that makes us say “Really?”.

One of the comical habits he has developed is being the front yard sentry for the neighbor’s cat.  We’ve trained Bogie so that he is not to leave the sidewalk.  He can run from one side of the front yard to the other but he cannot step one foot on the street.  As such, the neighbor’s cat has learned that Bogie will not advance across the street to attack.  So now when the cat sees that Bogie is in the front yard, the cat will sit in the middle of the driveway and watch Bogie from across the street.  A stalemate has developed as neither will cross the street to engage the enemy.  This has resulted in Bogie pounding his feet in frustration, loud vocal whines and various mock charges which promptly stops at the edge of the sidewalk.  He will stand in his sentry position for an hour if we let him.  Occasionally the cat will start cleaning itself and Bogie will raise his hackles and the mock charges will begin again.  It’s as if the street is a treacherous moat.  Bogie will look at the cat and then look at the street then look back at the cat.  He’ll pace the sidewalk looking for a way across that doesn’t involved stepping on the actual street.  You can actually see him trying to figure out a way across.  He’s even gone so far as to step on the small patch of weeds growing out of the street a few inches from the sidewalk; because technically he’s not stepping on the actual street.  Even when there is no cat in the neighbors yard, Bogie will stand perfectly still and wait for the cat to come into view.  I’ve taken a picture of the Bogie statue waiting for the cat to emerge.  He does this so often that the neighbors have asked us what he’s looking at.  I just tell them that Bogie is attempting to “will” the cat to cross the street.

Bogie is scary smart; too smart for his own good sometimes.  Just recently he likes to play Jail Break at his Doggie Day Care.  Bogie has learned how to unlock the pens at his day care.  So last week, Bogie decided that not only would he let himself out, but he would let all the other dogs out as well.  He went from pen to pen, unlocking the gates until all the dogs were freed.  The day care had twenty dogs running loose in the facility all due to Bogie.  When I came to pick him up that day, I arrived to some not-so-happy day care people.  Now there are carabineer locks on all the pens in an attempt to thwart Bogie’s escape antics.  It’s just a matter of time before Bogie finds another weakness or loophole.

So until I have children of my own, I’m content with the endlessly entertaining aspects of my neurotic but highly intelligent dog.


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